Psych 101
by Philote
Summary: So how does Sam feel about his brother? Missing scene from Asylum


**Psych 101**

By Philote

Rating: PG (K+)

Summary: So how does Sam feel about his brother? (Missing scene from _Asylum_)

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of _Supernatural_ do not belong to me. I make no money from this story. Please don't sue.

Warnings: _Asylum_ spoilers; slight spoiler for _Home_

Author's Note: Personally, I wanted to know what Sam told Dr. Ellicott (the younger…and living) about Dean, and how that might have effected what happened later. This is a possible version of that scene.

oOo

"I'll tell you all about the Roosevelt riot if you'll tell me something honest about yourself. Like…this brother you're road-tripping with. How do you feel about him?"

Sam raised his eyebrows and stared at Dr. Ellicott, slightly taken aback. He'd been wary of coming in here for just this reason, knowing he'd be prompted to talk about himself. Psychiatrists were harder to talk to than most people he and Dean came across, in that they were harder to lie to. There was a lot he probably needed to talk about—and so little he could actually reveal without being tossed in a mental ward himself.

After a moment, he decided he'd have to play along if he wanted his answers. He would just have to choose his words carefully. "Well…he's my brother," he finally answered.

"Yes, I think we've established that," came the wry response. Ellicott leaned back in his chair, seemingly settling in. "How does he treat you?"

Sam shrugged. "Like a little brother."

"That could mean several things, Sam."

He nodded in agreement, but didn't elaborate.

Ellicott was studying him unnervingly now. Casually he asked, "Does he tease you?"

Sam snorted. "Oh yeah."

"Is it cruel?"

He froze, then promptly shook his head. "No."

"Never?"

Sam shifted uncomfortably, considering the question despite himself. It might be a little cruel at times, sure. A couple of the statements that afternoon had been. But that was just Dean, beginning to adapt to the revelation about Sam's visions. He knew that teasing was his brother's way of accepting things. If he'd been keeping a stony silence, then Sam would have been worried.

Aloud, he conceded, "Rarely."

Ellicott nodded in what was probably meant to be understanding. Then he asked, "Do you fight?"

Sam shrugged again. "Sometimes. But then, all brothers do, right?"

"Is it physical?"

"I'm sorry?"

"The fighting. Is it physical?"

Sam hesitated again. The sparring was physical, sure, but that wasn't exactly the type of fighting Ellicott was talking about. On the other hand, sparring did get overly intense on occasion. But that happened when they were upset with each other. No…the only real hurt they could inflict on each other was emotional.

He'd been silent too long. Apparently, silence was enough of an answer for the psychiatrist. "He's older than you, right? Stronger?" Ellicott leaned forward slightly, though he still kept his tone casual. "Does your brother ever hurt you, Sam?"

"What?" Sam nearly choked in shock. "No! Why would you think that?"

Ellicott sat back again, considering him. "You came in here for some reason. And that looks like the remnants of a nasty bruise on your neck."

Sam barely resisted the urge to curse. His fingers naturally went to his throat, tracing the remnants of the colorful bruise left by the electric cord. It was hardly noticeable; but then, doctors were trained to notice that sort of thing. He was suddenly very glad that he was wearing long sleeves, for that certainly wasn't the only bruise he was sporting.

"That was…" he floundered for a moment. This was why they didn't go to hospitals. Finally he said, "I got mugged a few weeks back. It was Dean who saved me, actually."

The important part of that lie was true.

Dr. Ellicott seemed to sense that something was off, however. He raised his eyebrows and set that unnerving gaze on Sam, and said one soft word. "Honesty…"

Sam felt his temper flare. If he didn't need answers from this guy…"Look, Dean has his less than admirable moments. But he loves me."

"Love doesn't stop people from inflicting pain. In fact, it can make them hurt more."

"Well, that's not the case here." Sam met the probing gaze, and stared right back with as much conviction as he could.

Ellicott studied him for a long moment before nodding. "Okay." He let go of it as casually as he had brought it up. "Then why do you want to talk about your brother, Sam?"

Sam's head was spinning a bit. "I didn't say that I did."

"No. But you brought him up almost immediately."

Had he? Sam blinked, and fished for something to say.

Ellicott let him squirm for a moment before he changed the subject. "Why don't you tell me about your parents."

Oh yes, that was a better topic. _Well, Mom was murdered by some supernatural evil_…Sam cleared his throat. "Our mother died when we were little. I don't remember her. Our father…" he trailed off. Why couldn't he just tell him that Dad was happily remarried and living in Kansas or something? Why was he finding it so hard to lie under that searching, clinical look?

Dean wouldn't be having this problem.

"Your father…" Ellicott prompted.

"We haven't heard from him in a while," Sam hedged.

"One deceased parent, the other distant," the doctor said thoughtfully. Then, quite abruptly, he asked, "What's the age difference between you and Dean?"

"Four years."

Ellicott nodded in that pseudo-understanding way again. "I bet he's always taken care of you, then."

Sam smiled slightly. "Yeah, he has."

"He's protective, I'll bet."

Sam rolled his eyes and just nodded.

Ellicott smiled. "Overprotective, maybe? Stifling you a bit?"

Sam tilted his head. "On occasion," he admitted slowly.

"Do you resent that?"

Sam narrowed his eyes. "Why do you keep coming back to Dean? My father, now him I have issues with. We could talk about him for hours."

"Issues like what?"

"Like…how I could never be the son he wanted."

"Hmm. Was someone the son he wanted?"

And…right back to Dean. Did his entire life come back to Dean? Sam clenched his jaw. Frustrated, he averted his gaze and refused to answer.

"I'm sure your father is the root of some problems. But he isn't here. And I'm going to guess that Dean is waiting for you right outside."

Sam blinked at him, unable to do much else.

Ellicott just nodded knowingly. It was terribly annoying. "Would you like my diagnosis, Sam?"

"Why not?" he asked rhetorically, sarcasm dripping.

If the doctor took note of his tone, he gave no sign. "It's clear that you and your brother are close. But there's no such thing as a perfect relationship. It's normal for there to be some anger and resentment between any close people.

"You're denying it because of the nature of your relationship, because he takes care of you. You love and respect him. Because of that, you feel guilty when you have negative feelings towards him. So you bury them."

Sam started to shake his head, but Ellicott continued, "But here's the thing; denying it tends to make it fester, which eventually makes it stronger. You need to face it, and probably talk to him about it. I'd be happy to help you with that, if you want."

Sam just stared for a moment, thinking what he'd be happy for was another hourly fee. That thought flitted through his mind, warring with several others. He couldn't seem to help puzzling through the words. Were they true?

Memories and tumultuous feelings roused. He had to fight to get past them. Aloud, seemingly from a distance, he managed, "Yeah, sure. I'll think about that." He paused, and then remembered why he was suffering through all of this in the first place. "Will you tell me about the riot, now?"

Ellicott gave him a long, measured look. "Have you been honest yet?"

Sam resisted the urge to squirm. He didn't even feel this cornered in fights. "Maybe I have some resentment, all right? Maybe I don't like the way he always does just what Dad would want and acts…well, a lot like Dad. Or how he has this unshakable faith in him, even when there's no basis for it." He was babbling, going with his emotions, and he couldn't seem to stop. "And maybe I resent how nothing seems to faze him. How he just takes everything in stride because this is our life and he's somehow accepted that this is how it has to be…"

Some deeply engrained warning trigger kicked in then and told him to shut up. He snapped his mouth closed with an audible click.

He was receiving another measuring look. "That's very good, Sam. Admitting your problems to yourself is often the hardest step."

"And the first on the road to recovery?" The sarcasm had returned.

He was having flashbacks to the Psych 101 course he'd taken a few years back. He'd spent most of it evaluating himself and his family, determining that they had about as many problems as people could have without crossing the fine line into serious disorders. He really shouldn't have been surprised to discover what he was harboring. But, despite what the books said about denial, he really would have liked to rewind this encounter and immerse himself in it again.

And, even if admission was a hard step, he was a Winchester. He seriously doubted that would be the hardest step for him. In fact, with Dean thrown into the mix, the steps might lead him nowhere.

Sam shook himself. "So. I gave you honesty."

Ellicott raised an eyebrow, and stole a not so surreptitious look at his watch. "Yes. Well, then. We did have a deal, didn't we?"

Sam had to sternly tell himself to focus. This was what he'd come here for, after all, and he needed to hear it. He shoved his turbulent thoughts to the back of his mind.

He could deal with them later.

oOo


End file.
